Monday, May 19, 2014

Why I Should Stay Off Facebook

Today started out a normal day. I get up, get ready for work, and get on Facebook because I had a message from a friend. So I message the friend back and look through my news feed. And what do I see? Not one, but TWO pregnancy announcements.

It makes me sick to see the pregnancy announcements on Facebook, especially from those who are much younger than me and were irresponsible in getting pregnant. In my opinion, people who are irresponsible with sex should not be rewarded with a baby, especially when that reward is something that so many women and couples struggle and pray for every day. Along with us, I know several infertile couples who are trying for a baby and would make wonderful parents.

Pregnant women and pregnant friends are the reason I should never get on Facebook. I should delete my account because of them, but I won't because I have so many other friends I like to keep in touch with. And they are not pregnant.

To my pregnant friends on Facebook, don't be offended if I block your posts for the next 9 months, including the ridiculous amount of photos of your belly, ultrasounds, and of your adorable newborn. It's not you, it's me.

Sunday, May 11, 2014

Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day!

So, Mother's Day is today. There are some Mothers that I am thankful for. I am thankful for my own Mom who has always supported me through everything. She has truly been my biggest cheerleader in our infertility battle. I am thankful for my late Mother-in-law, who I miss so much. She was a great listener and I could always confide in her. I am thankful for the mothers of my two nieces, B and K, who are helping them be amazing girls. I am thankful for the women who are mothers to my other nieces and nephews through marriage, and thankful for my adopted sisters who are terrific mothers.

Putting it mildly, Mother's Day is extremely difficult for women with infertility. For me, I try to focus on my own Mom. It helps, but only temporarily. Hubby is so sweet, he also tries to do something really nice for myself around this time. This year, he took me out to a very nice expensive dinner yesterday. So we blew money on something we shouldn't have, but I didn't care. This was a treat for us, because it's okay to be infertile. It's okay to indulge at this time of year.

Here are some coping ideas. Not all of these are my original ideas.

For those, like me, diagnosed with infertility to cope on Mother's Day:

1. Share your story. No, I don't mean post it on Facebook. If you're close to your Mom, talk to her about it. Or, talk about it with another close family member or friend. They may not know what you're going through, but if they truly care about you, they will be supportive of your journey. My biggest supporters are my Mom and my best friend.
2. Indulge. For me, Hubby took me out to an expensive dinner yesterday. For you, it could be something different. Pamper yourself. Enjoy a trip to the spa or salon. Go see a funny movie. Buy something that you shouldn't spend money on. Take a day trip. Relax and watch TV all day.
3. Light a candle for yourself, and say a prayer recognizing the Mother in you.
4. Take a nice long nap.
5. Change the channel when a Mother's Day commercial comes on TV.

And here are some ideas for women who are Mothers that can help the infertile women in their lives:

1. Let her know, on Mother's Day, that you're thinking about her.
2. Don't minimalize their pain by not becoming Mothers. Don't tell her to wait. Don't tell her to adopt. Don't tell her to just get a dog. In other words, don't say something that makes you sound like an idiot.
3. Don't feel that you can fix things. Your presence of simply being there for your infertile friend/sister/daughter/cousin/aunt, etc. is enough.


Saturday, May 10, 2014

Welcome to Fighting Infertility!

In honor of my least favorite holiday of the year, Mother's Day, I figured I would start my own infertility blog. There are many infertility blogs out there, but everyone's story and perspective are unique (including mine). And, my Mom is the most talented writer I know. I only hope that I have a small ounce of writing skill that she has.

I named this blog "Fighting Infertility" because that's exactly what we are. We have been diagnosed with infertility for 6 years now. We have tried many expensive treatments that have failed every time. We had a failed adoption in Georgia. The hurt was too much to bear at the time so we left Georgia and came home 2 years ago. We lost our 4-legged baby, Sunny, way too soon last October and I miss her every day. Hubby and I are infertility warriors. We have fought and fought and fought. We have lost battles, but we have not lost the war. We won't stop fighting. We WILL win the war. We WILL conquer our infertility! 

I hope you enjoy this blog. I hope this blog opens up your mind to infertility. I hope you find support and comfort in this blog. I hope you learn what to say to an infertile woman. I hope you support us in our infertility fight. I hope we, and all infertile couples, will be in your thoughts and prayers.

But most of all, I hope you read my blog. :)