Sunday, May 11, 2014

Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day!

So, Mother's Day is today. There are some Mothers that I am thankful for. I am thankful for my own Mom who has always supported me through everything. She has truly been my biggest cheerleader in our infertility battle. I am thankful for my late Mother-in-law, who I miss so much. She was a great listener and I could always confide in her. I am thankful for the mothers of my two nieces, B and K, who are helping them be amazing girls. I am thankful for the women who are mothers to my other nieces and nephews through marriage, and thankful for my adopted sisters who are terrific mothers.

Putting it mildly, Mother's Day is extremely difficult for women with infertility. For me, I try to focus on my own Mom. It helps, but only temporarily. Hubby is so sweet, he also tries to do something really nice for myself around this time. This year, he took me out to a very nice expensive dinner yesterday. So we blew money on something we shouldn't have, but I didn't care. This was a treat for us, because it's okay to be infertile. It's okay to indulge at this time of year.

Here are some coping ideas. Not all of these are my original ideas.

For those, like me, diagnosed with infertility to cope on Mother's Day:

1. Share your story. No, I don't mean post it on Facebook. If you're close to your Mom, talk to her about it. Or, talk about it with another close family member or friend. They may not know what you're going through, but if they truly care about you, they will be supportive of your journey. My biggest supporters are my Mom and my best friend.
2. Indulge. For me, Hubby took me out to an expensive dinner yesterday. For you, it could be something different. Pamper yourself. Enjoy a trip to the spa or salon. Go see a funny movie. Buy something that you shouldn't spend money on. Take a day trip. Relax and watch TV all day.
3. Light a candle for yourself, and say a prayer recognizing the Mother in you.
4. Take a nice long nap.
5. Change the channel when a Mother's Day commercial comes on TV.

And here are some ideas for women who are Mothers that can help the infertile women in their lives:

1. Let her know, on Mother's Day, that you're thinking about her.
2. Don't minimalize their pain by not becoming Mothers. Don't tell her to wait. Don't tell her to adopt. Don't tell her to just get a dog. In other words, don't say something that makes you sound like an idiot.
3. Don't feel that you can fix things. Your presence of simply being there for your infertile friend/sister/daughter/cousin/aunt, etc. is enough.


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